Let Them Eat Flake

Here’s a treat to start the year. It’s a poem about sweets by Elvis McGonagall. He wrote it for Radio 4’s Saturday Live at the time Kraft bought Cadbury, and it’s included in his wonderful new collection Mostly Dreich. Enjoy.

 Let Them Eat Flake

It’s Opal Fruits – not Starbursts. Treets – not M&Ms.
A Marathon is not a Snickers Bar.
Uncle Joe’s Mintballs to Krafty Uncle Sam.
Shut the lid on our nation’s sweetie jar!

Yes a man’s gotta chew what a man’s gotta chew –
Highland Toffee, Jelly Babies, Twix.
Now it’s Crunchie time for every Fruit ‘n Nut case –
There’s Bounty hunters in our pick ‘n mix!

Because a Finger of Fudge is not enough
For the city boys’ sticky-fingered pillage.
Singing Yankee Doodle Dollar Candy’s Dandy
Waving stars ‘n stripes over Bournville village.

Chunky chocolate cowboys have shot the Milk Tray Man.
Cup hands – there goes Cadburys way out west.
There’s golden tickets for the boardroom Willy Wonkas,
It’s come up Roses for the bankers who know best.

They’ve got the Oompa-Loompas by the Curly Wurlies,
It ain’t no Picnic on the factory floor,
The Billy Bunter fat cats still get all the Crème Eggs
But if you work for Buttons – there’s the door!

So please, let’s keep the family silver in the family.
Scoff the last Rolo before it melts away.
Let’s Revel proudly in Albion’s confectionery,
It’s made British teeth what they are today.

Mostly Dreich

This entry was posted in Main, Treats. Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Let Them Eat Flake

  1. Nikki says:

    Just heard this on radio think its great ! Put a smile on a very wet day

  2. paul says:

    I heard this on the way to work today and thought what a brilliant poem and so true. Couldn’t wait to read it on my PC when I arrived here. Well done Elvis I hope more people enjoyed this as much as me.

  3. Frank says:

    Brightened up my drive to Middlesbrough today and brought up some chocco memories

  4. Robin says:

    Long day today but could not wait to find this poem and show it to Jamie (9). It is what poetry should be like. Punch and pith with a dash of sweet and sour.

  5. Vicky Flavell says:

    Love this poem, it gives me tingles of nostalgia. I always read it when I feel a little sad and it never ceases to cheers me up !

  6. Ava Shumack says:

    My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for… Does one offer guest writers to write content for yourself??? I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write in relation to here… Again; awesome weblog! Hastings Roofing ProTech, 211 New York St., Hastings, NE, 68901, US, 402-447-8493

  7. I have come to understand that charges for online degree pros tend to be an awesome value. For instance a full College Degree in Communication from The University of Phoenix Online consists of Sixty credits at $515/credit or $30,900. Also American Intercontinental University Online comes with a Bachelors of Business Administration with a overall education course element of 180 units and a worth of $30,560. Online learning has made getting your college degree far more easy because you can certainly earn your degree from the comfort in your home and when you finish from work. Thanks for all other tips I have learned through your website.

  8. I agree, for the most part, but don’t you feel as if the issue is more complex than that?

  9. This site is one of the best I have found

  10. Omg, excellent weblog structure! Just how long have you been blogging for?
    you make blogging simple. The total look of your site is superb, neatly as
    the content material!

  11. The more you can exercise self-discipline whether it is in your
    diet, exercise, or studies in school, etc. Once you’ve completed your prep-training, you can move onto the second football training
    tip – more intense strength training to build muscle mass,
    strength and power. In the fall, there are a few
    things that make the season special.

  12. stmkumc.org says:

    It promised so much when it was initially announced, but delivered so little by the time it was actually released.
    For issues of the real device the developer has only one option of buying the Android Phone called Dev1 especially those located outside US.
    You’ll need to do specific searches on your own favorite internet search engine for SNESDS (a word) and you will
    get the official snes – DS website, which you could always download
    the most recent version of the emulator.

  13. Each player would choose a side of the car to look for the agreed items.
    These savings can then be passed on to customers, meaning lower prices and a job well done.
    Teaching your teen the basics of car maintenance helps her stay safe
    on the road.

  14. If the asset is held for the full five years and the future value cash
    flow of $10,000 is realized, what is the discount rate of the asset.
    If you take a defensive driving course, be sure to let your agent know.
    Fake as they may be in some cases they are a great help with your
    pocket.

  15. It wasn’t work in the beginning, when Nature was on your side,
    drugging you with excitement and ecstasy. To cope with this problem,
    you will have to keep few things or guidelines in perspective
    as these guidelines will help you to choose the best Sex Chatroulette
    room available over internet. Keep those things
    in mind because youre going to use them to make her like you.

  16. Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it
    to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to
    her eear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and itt
    pinched herr ear. She never wants to go back!
    LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  17. Alicia says:

    Thanks for finally writing about > Let Them Eat Flake | The Trebor Story < Liked it!

    Feel free to visit my page; after effects opening template – Alicia -

  18. What’s up, yeah this piece of writing is really pleasant and I have learned lot of things
    from it regarding blogging. thanks.

  19. source says:

    Saat ini agen bola online sangat diminati oleh para petaruh di segala pelosok, termasuk di Indonesia.
    ‘The X Factor’ airs Wednesdays and Thursdays in
    Flint on WSMH FOX66 at 8 p. A koperasi is operated based upon the Pancasila and the 1945 Indonesian constitution, and aims to achieve the
    prosperity of its members, first and foremost, and the society in general.

  20. If you wish for to increase your familiarity just keep visiting this web site and be updated with the most recent news update posted here.

  21. I was more than happy to discover this great site.
    I wanted to thank you for your time for this fantastic read!!
    I definitely savored every part of it and i also have you bookmarked to check out
    new stuff in your web site.

  22. Floyd Mayweather keeps rising, at the moment it is
    hard to foresee when Floyd Money Mayweather will actually be defeated.
    Broner is also known as Mayweather’s lil’ protege` and this fight
    could set the record straight in more ways than one. Maidana ruined Josesito Lopez this month with a
    6th round TKO within a thrilling fight from beginning to end.

  23. raketenseo says:

    Hi i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anyplace, when i read this piece
    of writing i thought i could also make comment
    due to this brilliant post.

  24. Now the question that may come to your mind is that you may ask
    how the sites earn money when they do not charge any amount from
    the movie buffs. It’s easy to watch movies online
    and catch up with your favourite movie stars.
    To cut the discussion short, you can always rely on these fun lands to watch movies online free.

  25. Heya! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone!
    Just wanted to say I love reading your blog
    and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the fantastic work!

    Feel free to visit my blog – after effects alien

  26. Hurrah, that’s what I was searching for, what a material!
    present here at this blog, thanks admin of this
    site.

  27. Yes! Finally someone writes about start doing.

  28. Irma says:

    Hi it’s me, I am also visiting this web site daily, this site is trully good and the users are really sharing
    good thoughts.

  29. Clash of Clans 2014 Hack is here and now you can make unlimited gems, gold and elixir with this particular newer version of
    the favorite clash of clans hack, the brand new version 3.5 was launched
    few days ago with a skilled team of german programmers and more than 10,
    000 users have analyzed it and so they could make infinite
    number of gems and gold with this newer model
    of clash of clans hack.

  30. Thank you for another excellent post. The place else could anyone get that type of information in such a perfect approach of writing?
    I have a presentation subsequent week, and I am on the
    look for such info.

    Look into my webpage :: Computer Repair Coral Springs

  31. Open up the generate and transfer the folder to the default location on your
    own hard disk drive i. The recording instructed by Nigel Dick
    filmed at Haven Cove Resort for that well-known seashore Malibu in California.

    commence at, but go ahead and widen your horizon and start.

  32. However the cost of quality jerseys is presently amazingly high so soccer fans seek online in the home that they can discover extraordinary deals to purchase
    genuine one from soccer jerseys on sale. Kids will enjoy participating in these interactive activities to celebrate the international soccer event.
    Get a home or away jersey of your favorite team and join in the fun of “the beautiful game”.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>